im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize