I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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