well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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