I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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