I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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