You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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