so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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