in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize