Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize