So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize