I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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