im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
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Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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