just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't deserve a penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize