Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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