i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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