That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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