of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize