21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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