Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
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You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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