A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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