how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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