But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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