We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize