shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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