READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize