I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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