Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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