Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize