i just snorted my name. best moment ever
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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