Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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