I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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