It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize