he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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