tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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