this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize