I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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