Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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