Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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