Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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