just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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