You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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