wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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