can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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