I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize