the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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