I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize