Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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