Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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