I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
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He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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