i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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